When Colin needs something, he will ask. A week ago he mentioned that there was a play at school that he could earn extra credit in a class if he went to see it.He apologized for the short notice and I offered to drive him. On the way to the school, Colin told me that the show was only about an hour or so and I decided to stay. He sat near some classmates and I moved further down the row so not to stigmatize him. I held my breath on the way home while using turn signals but have seen no reaction so far to former triggers.
Friday Night was "Mom Prom", followed by Junior / Senior Prom on Saturday night. My middle-son agreed to escort me to the dinner dance, He also had a date for the prom. He decided against renting a tux and we agreed that a new suit would do.
Tuesday, we went shopping for a suit for my son and a new dress for me at Macy's. Luckily we both found outfits but my son needed his suit pants hemmed. I arranged to come back Thursday night to pick up the suit. Upon the return home I found that Colin needed new pants as he seems to be going through a much-needed growth spurt.. He and his eldest brother also needed haircuts and I took them that night.
Thursday evening, I asked Colin if he wanted to come with me to the store to pick up the suit so he could find some slacks. He said, "Sure" and hopped in the car with me. I had the radio on and I could hear him "Shush". I peered into the rear-view mirror and he looked uncomfortable. I asked if he wanted the radio turned off and he said "Sure".
When we got to Macy's I instructed Colin to go to the boy's department while I took care of picking up the suit and looking for a wrap for my dress. I returned to find Colin had picked out two pairs of dress slacks and was ready to check out. I was so excited that not only did he find school-appropriate pants on his own, they were also on sale. I neglected to look at the washing instructions. My husband was none too pleased that these were dry-clean only. We will have to remind Colin to change his clothes when he comes home as he will play with the dog and sometimes sleep in his school clothes.
We have started to consider building a new home on land we have owned for over 16 years. We've been looking at model homes to get ideas.
A few weeks ago my husband and I saw a model that was close to what we wanted. I took the boys out to see the home to get their opinions. Colin has indicated that he would be fine with a room in the basement with no windows. I was pretty sure he would like this home. As we headed into the lower level, there was a ceiling fan twirling in the main area. Colin immediately went to the wall switches and fumbled to turn it off. His middle-brother saw what was happening and jumped in to help.
We both noticed that Colin seemed agitated and immediately left the vicinity and headed back upstairs. We instinctively knew that Colin needed some time to regain his composure. This is the first time since Colin has been back home that I was sure that I witnessed a triggered reaction. I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I had validation that he still was affected by triggers and that he was able to control his reactions to some degree. On the other hand, I was dismayed at his discomfort.
Speaking of discomfort, we have an issue with the basement room. Bugs. We have the normal amount that you would expect in a basement. Unfortunately more than is acceptable in a sleeping room.We will vacuum bugs up when they are spotted but the ick-factor remains.
Colin slept on the living room couch last night. He had mentioned to his middle-brother that he might want to take over his eldest brother's room when he goes off to college in the fall. Not sure how that will work out, we'll have to wait and see.
I am encouraged that there has been some progress toward reconciliation, although we still have a ways to go. We are much better off than we were a year ago and for that I am extremely grateful!
As always, we are a work-in-progress!