School Daze

I woke up this morning at 4:53 a.m. My husband was rustling around and slightly awake. I told him that Colin wanted to be woken up at 5:00 a.m. and was told to let him sleep. At 5:10, I crawled out of bed as I heard my middle-son's alarm going off. I peaked in his room. My 17 year old was a bit groggy but in the process of getting out of bed. I then proceeded to go downstairs.

The dog awoke and was stretching. He followed me to the top of the basement stairs. The lights were on but I did not hear any signs that Colin was awake until we started to descend down to his room. Half-way down, I heard his voice.

"I'm awake!"

We turned around. I took the pup out for a pee and then gave him his breakfast. Colin scurried up the stairs, wide-awake, fully dressed for school and seemed to be in a good mood. He cheerfully greeted his dog and went about eating his breakfast and packing his school lunch.

Soon it would be time to leave for the first day of school!

The Send Off

Last Wednesday, Eldest left to start his freshman year at a university that is two hours from our home. We had a family dinner the night before at a nice restaurant and then milkshakes from Sonic for dessert. The younger two were in great spirits. They have been plotting on having a great school year now that middle-son would be a senior and the designated driver to school.

Wednesday evening while hubs was helping our oldest move in his dorm, the other boys came with me to pick my niece up from the airport and shuttle her to her new dorm for the year at a college near our home.

We had a nice dinner at a campus pizza joint and then on to the dorm. Colin stayed in the car with me while middle-son helped his cousin check in.

There was a bit of a key-card snafu which resulted in my being stuck for a half hour in my car with Colin in the back seat. He was surprisingly chatty.

He told me he had the best day. When I asked why, I found out that he slept until 4 p.m. He was up until 2:00 a.m. and had 14 hours of sleep. He continued to talk about the upcoming school year and his class plan. He wanted to change from Pre-Calculus to Calc AB and would need parental consent to do so. Truthfully most of the conversation was not that memorable. What made the strongest impression on me was the fact he seemed relaxed and happy. I was reminded of the good old days when my son was able to sit and talk to me. My heart was full!

Weekend Visits

I was feeling guilty about not helping with the move and being able to see my eldest's dorm room. I decided to take a trip Saturday to go visit. Originally Colin said he thought he'd like to go. He was interested in seeing his brother's campus and room. When the time came to leave, Colin was groggy and decided to stay home with the dog and his middle brother. Maybe next time....

Sunday, my brother and his wife came for a short visit after helping their daughter with her dorm room. We had a nice visit other than the house being in a shambles. We are in the middle of a kitchen and half bath remodel. Colin was fairly social and the difference in his demeanor from a year ago was remarkable.

The First Day of School

Back to the first day of school which started so very early. The day seemed to be a success. Both boys were exhausted. I did get enough information to know that all went well.

I am so very hopeful for a great rest of the year. It has been a struggle but we are finally starting to see the fruits of our labor.

As always.... we are a work in progress!

Gaming Theory - Part 2

We had yet another rather successful weekend.

Saturday afternoon, I packed up Colin, the dog and Eldest and headed out. We dropped Eldest off at his job and then ventured on to my sister's house. I wanted to get some pool time as well as drop off a bucket of tomatoes from the garden.

After we dropped eldest off, Colin asked politely if I could turn the radio off. Eldest likes to listen to the radio and will take control of the stations. Colin has a healthy respect for his brother and is reluctant to give any signs of being bothered. His eldest brother is convinced that Colin is fine now. Unfortunately I know better. At least Colin seems able to cope.

I looked for any other signs of distress during the car ride but found none. The trip and visit went smoothly. I got to visit with my sister and her swimming pool and Colin spent most of his time with his cousin playing video games.

Sunday was another family day. We spent time with my husband's family. Colin went with his eldest brother early so that they could swim with their cousins at a club. My husband and I went later to his sister's house for dinner and some time with our visiting relatives.

Another great day. Colin seems to be more comfortable with family gatherings and appeared to have a great time!

Yesterday morning I heard another segment on NPR while driving the pup to daycare. I am really excited that my theory about complex video games may have some merit!

As always....We are a work-in-progress!

This story is about video games to help with neurological disorders applying for FDA approval.

Gaming Theory

Another successful week and weekend. Time has been flying by and school will start soon. This past weekend was a tax-free school supply holiday and I tried to take advantage of this. I took eldest on Saturday night and Colin on Sunday (yesterday) afternoon.

As I continue my policy of minimal intrusion with Colin, I am seeing results. Other than a few shushes when he is in a "mood" and does not want to hear talking or a "get out of my room" when checking in on him, our sparse interactions have been pleasant. Colin said "Yes" to a shopping trip yesterday afternoon and later that evening we went out to eat with eldest and my husband. Middle-son was tired from work and wanted to nap. Colin was in a relatively good mood and both events were enjoyable.

I've had several parents in my Parent Support Group ask about our method for helping our son improve. I mention a few things: 1. The Sound-Proofed Room  2. Allowing him to get a dog 3. "Detachment Parenting" (ie. leaving him the hell alone as much as possible) and 4. Video Games (Colin is able to play video games in the noisy part of the basement even when the laundry machines are going).

This morning I heard a story on NPR which reinforces my crazy theory that when engrossed in an activity that is enjoyable and requires a high amount of concentration, triggers can be tuned out. While my son refused to try Neurofeedback, I feel that video games may have the same effect in helping with triggers.


http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/08/10/430149726/will-doctors-soon-be-prescribing-video-games-for-mental-health

As always, we are a work-in-progress!

The Normalest of Normals

The expression, "Normal is Boring" does not apply in my world. In fact, "Normalcy" rocks my universe. Last night was so freaking normal, I could almost cry. I am still so locked-up emotionally, the best I could manage was a small lump in my throat and a warm feeling in my heart.

Eldest will be leaving for college in 2 weeks. We need to start shopping for school clothes. Colin has been sprouting up a bit and could use some new clothing as well. My middle-son and husband had an event to go to. I decided to take the other two boys to a nearby outlet store.

We pulled up to the warehouse just in time for closing. I had thought the store was open later. We decided to go on to Great Clips, so Colin could get a much-needed haircut and then on to dinner.

After a bit of a debate with my eldest, we decided to go to Bob Evan's for dinner. Colin seemed to be in a relative calm mood and was fairly agreeable about our choice of venue. We had a relaxed dinner and the boys conversed about the upcoming school year. I was content to sit and bask in the aura of "normal-ness".

Toward the end of our meal, Eldest noticed a fellow summer "swim mom" at the counter getting take-out. We waved and she stopped by our table to say hello before leaving with her order. In addition to having a son, the same age of eldest, she also has a boy who was a former classmate and teammate of Colin. The fellow swim-mom is one of the few outside of our family who knew about Colin's story. She chatted for a few short minutes but did not speak directly to Colin.

I was amazed that my son hid any discomfort he may have had, as he tries to avoid anyone from his past to escape any uncomfortable questions. Even more remarkable is as I looked around, after our friend left, I noticed all the ceiling fans twirling around on the ceiling. I did not detect even the slight flinch or annoyance from my miso-son!

Last Weekend - Another Normalcy High

Adding to my "Normalcy High", was a couple of successful family outings last weekend.

Saturday night my husband, middle-son, Colin & I went to a late-night showing of  "Train Wreck". Not exactly the most family-friendly movie but I never claimed to be a great parent. On any day I will throw "Family Values" out the window in lieu of a slice of  "peaceful pie".

We arrived at the theatre early. Colin and his brother got a XXL bucket of popcorn and a couple of jumbo drinks as well. The boys like to add butter-flavored salt to their favorite movie treat. Apparently Colin was a little too generous with the salt which was centered in the pile of popped corn. I unknowingly grabbed a handful from the center and was rewarded with a mouthful of salt. The boys laughed as I grimaced and Colin offered me a sip of his drink. I was amazed at this gesture. We have come a long way!

(please note that movies are not an issue for us like other miso-families as mouth and eating noises do not seem to annoy my son)

Sunday afternoon, Colin, Sumter and I went out for a visit to my sister's house. Colin spent much of the time there playing video games with his cousin while the dogs played and I hung out by the pool with my sister and brother-in-law. We stayed for dinner before heading back.

What a difference a year makes. We are doing so much better than I ever dreamed possible. In a couple of short years I have gone from one of the most pitied parents in my parent support group to one of the luckiest.

I have no idea what the future holds and I am more than content to hang on to moments like these....

As always, we are a work-in-progress!

Quiet Please... A Project Worth Supporting

Filmmaker Jeffrey Gould is undertaking a project to make a documentary about Misophonia and the toll it takes on lives, families and relationships. He is running a campaign for funding on IndieGoGo .

Please consider a donation to this worthy cause. There are some great Perks besides the ultimate goal of spreading awaremess!

A Weekend of Normalcy

The last few weeks have flown by. Graduation party for the eldest, working on a kitchen remodel, and not much out of the ordinary to report. I sometimes forget how far we have come until I am reminded by either my sister or by reading old posts in this blog.

The boys have been busy with activities. The older two have work and swimming. Colin has been going to cross country practices and recently finished up a SAT review class. The new X-Box has also been getting a workout with Colin and his middle brother. Having two teen boys that can drive has been a lifesaver for our family. The boys can be left home alone during the day and are fairly self-sufficient.

I have decided to continue with weekday doggie daycare for Sumter. I know from last year, that our pup will be largely ignored other than mealtime and bathroom breaks. I have found that Sumter is easier to manage when he has had a full day playing with other dogs and comes home worn out. Our beloved pooch has been instrumental in Colin's reintegration into our home. I am committed to providing the best care possible for him.

Almost Like Old Times

This weekend has been one of the most "normal" since our son has been back.Friday night, Colin and his Dad went shopping for new running shoes. Saturday night Colin came along with me to pick his brother up from work.  We got take-out from Wendy's then stopped at the grocery store on the way home. The boys stayed in the car while I purchased  a few necessities.

Later that night, Colin mentioned that he might want to go running around the neighborhood. He was feeling guilty about missing Friday's cross country practice and wanted to test out his new shoes. I looked at the clock and it was almost midnight. I mentioned that it was late and not a good idea. I realize that he does not want to run into anyone he knows from his middle-school days. The stigma from his interrupted school year still hangs over his head.

Sunday afternoon, while I was mowing the back yard, Colin, Sumter and hubs came out back. I took a break and we all sat down. Dad decided to take Colin down to his high school so he could run the team's usual path. As we relaxed and chatted for a bit, my husband and I exchanged glances. Not a word needed to be uttered to know what the other was thinking. We were having a "normal" boring day. And we were ecstatic!

To top things off, we made plans to go out for a Sunday family dinner. The WHOLE family. After some deliberation we decided on a nearby restaurant. Colin and his middle brother wore sunglasses. For my 17 year old, he was making a fashion statement. As for Colin, I believe this was for protection, in case he ran into someone he used to know.

Dinner Confessional

The coast was clear with not one familiar face in the restaurant and dinner was relaxed. The boys bantered about. My middle son mentioned his upcoming trip with me to NYC. Just the two of us are going on a mini vacation to visit family, take in a couple of college visits and see a play that my nephew is in. To my surprise, Colin mentioned that he might want to go. His middle brother mentioned that it was too late, tickets were already purchased. I mentioned that we can take another trip with him.

Truth be told, this would have been a very bad idea. While I am encouraged that Colin was interested in going with us, I know he is not ready. Until he is able to openly talk about his sound issues, there is too much room for things to go terribly wrong.

However, we may be seeing baby-steps in the right direction. In the course of our dinner conversation, my middle-son mentioned that he is slightly OCD. He and his eldest brother got into a debate about this when Colin chimed in.

"You know." he piped up, " I was diagnosed with OCD". There then was a bit of silent hesitation and we all dropped the topic. This was the first time our son had mentioned something from his hospitalization. While he was never formally diagnosed with any disorder, this was one of many possibilities mentioned.

We are all being careful to avoid mentioning anything from "the year that is not to be spoken of". We don't want to spook Colin. I have found that if you focus on listening and not reacting, every now and again a snippet of information will slip out.

Baby-Steps....

As always we are a work-in-progress!

23andMe & Misophonia

A short time ago,  the evening of Thursday, Jun 11 to be exact, I was lounging on the couch, watching television when my husband walks into the room.

"Did you get my email?" he inquired.

When I asked for a little more information, he told me to just go read it. I begrudgingly went to my computer to retrieve his message, more than a little irritated that he could not just tell me.

When I pulled up the message in question, I about fell out of my chair. I could not believe what I was seeing:

If this email isn’t displaying correctly, view it in your browser. June 2015 Sensitive to Certain Sounds? Hi , People who get unusually annoyed by everyday noises might have misophonia, which literally means a "hatred of sound." Though little is known about the causes of misophonia, a recent 23andMe study reveals that genetics may play a role. About 20 percent of 23andMe customers describe themselves as "filled with rage" by the sound of other people chewing, so the condition may be common. Check out your new report to learn more about how genetics might affect your reaction to chewing sounds. See my report Follow us on You are receiving this email because you are a customer of 23andMe.  I was stunned. I was then told to read part two. I am pasting parts of it below. It is important to note that 23andMe would have no way of knowing our issues with our son. The significance is HUGE. The power of "Big Data" in the form of customer surveys makes a case for a significant percent of our population having this disorder. This may be the breakthrough that is needed to get researchers and the medical community to take notice. And now, the rest of the story from 23andMe: Sensitivity to the Sound of Chewing (Misophonia) Are you annoyed by everyday noises such as the sound of other people chewing? You may have a mild case of misophonia: literally a "hatred of sound". Misophonia can be brought on by a variety of sounds made by other people including breathing, nail clipping, footsteps, and, most commonly, eating. About 20% of 23andMe customers describe themselves as "filled with rage" by the sound of other people chewing, suggesting that misophonia may be quite common. Furthermore, female 23andMe customers are almost 30% more likely to report this sensitivity than male customers. Unfortunately, misophonia has not been well studied by scientists and very little is known about its causes. An internal study at 23andMe, however, shows that genetics may play a role. Keep in mind that: This report describes study findings observed in groups of people. The findings may not be representative of you as an individual. The genetic markers reported here are associated with normal variation and generally have very small effects on the trait. Many factors besides those described here may influence this trait. Genotype Genetic Result GG Slightly higher odds of being sensitive to the sound of chewing.. AG Typical odds of being sensitive to the sound of chewing. AA Slightly lower odds of being sensitive to the sound of chewing.

For More Information, See 23andMe June 4 Blog Post:
http://blog.23andme.com/23andme-research/something-to-chew-on/