Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Mothers' Day 2014

As the time gets closer to bringing Colin home, we are stepping up our visits. This past weekend the plan was for me to spend the night at my sister's house. I was to try to see Colin three times. Once in the evening, the second time to call him for breakfast and the third was to say goodbye before leaving. Even the best laid plans can go astray and unfortunately we were not able to follow the plan.

Saturday, Colin had an 8th Grade Band Trip to Cedar Point Amusement Park which is a three hour or so bus ride from his school. My sister had to have him at the school by 6:00 a.m. This was an all day affair and the kids would not be back until around midnight. While this was not an ideal night to stay over, we are running out of time. I was determined to give it a try.

My sister and I had a nice girls' night with one of her friends. The friend surprised us with these cute kitchen towels for Mother's Day. Mine is the one pictured on the left, Family Drama. The same can be said for Misophonia, "The gift that keeps on giving." Too bad there are no returns.

After our friend left, my sister and I then watched a movie (Blue Jasmine) which was not a very cheerful film. Soon after, it was time for Colin to be picked up. In order to keep the peace and avoid drama at such a late hour, I went to my guest room and settled in for the night. As luck would have it, Colin did not seem to notice my car upon his return home.

Thankfully we had a peaceful night.

 Lazy Sunday Morning

I decided to let Colin sleep late as he had a pretty full Saturday. My brother-in-law had to go to work and my nephew likes to sleep late on the weekends. My sister and I bonded over coffee and Sunday Morning news. As we approached the noon hour, I noticed my son wearing a blanket creeping along the upstairs hall peering down into the family room through the railing. We made eye contact and he took off.

I decided to spend the rest of my visit catching up on some reading I brought along. I positioned myself in the living room so that I could see if my son decided to make a run for it. After a bit, my sister went upstairs to see where Colin went to and found him hiding behind a chair in the master bedroom. She scolded him and then left.

I continued to read for a bit until I was ready to go back home. I looked around for Colin but could not find him. My sister reluctantly went back to her room to look for him. She is tired of playing hide-and-seek.  I followed behind and kept a safe distance as Aunt "P" went into her walk-in-closet to look.

Out of the Closet

My sister came back out and silently pointed to the area where my son was hiding. I stood in the doorway and said, " Colin, I've been in the house since last night and I'm not here to chase you. I just wanted to say hello and to let you know I'll be leaving soon."

Colin stormed out of the closet and with both hands shoved me out of his way. My sister saw this and grabbed his arm causing my son to stumble to the floor. She scolded him for being disrespectful to his mother and I motioned for her to let him go. Colin took off down the hall, ducked into his room and slammed the door shut.

I decided it was time for me to go.

I announced my departure through the his door and left for home.

Happy Mother's Day to me!

I called my sister later in the day to see how Colin reacted once I was gone. She said he seemed fine and he was in the game room watching t.v. She was angry and avoided her nephew for the rest of the day. This whole process is exhausting and my sister is understandably upset the way Colin has been behaving toward me. I've learned to expect it and have managed to not take any of this personally.

I am concerned that we have a matter of weeks until it is time for Colin to return.

Manic Monday

I made sure to set realistic expectations for my husband for his visit the next day to be involved in this Monday's therapy session. This would be the first time he would see our son in six months. No real surprises to report and no noticeable progress. There was an escape attempt and Colin was dragged back into the house by his aunt so that he could spend his required time ignoring his therapist as usual.
At least my husband stuck to the script of announcing his presence, his departure and that he would be back in a week.

I'll be back for another overnight visit this weekend. I'll work on my strategy in a few days with our psychologist.

We are a work-in-progress!

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