Would the changes to our house be enough? Could our son be able to live peacefully with us? Would he reestablish a relationship with his brothers?
Today is also my middle son's birthday. Last year was not a great one. All of our focus was on our youngest who not only got a new room but a puppy on his brother's birthday.
Today we had so much to celebrate. We made a big deal over my 17 year-old's special day. After he came home from work, we went out to dinner. Then back home for cake and gifts.
Colin has seemed very interested lately in coming up with suggestions for gifts for his brothers. He's been asking what we were planning to give our eldest for high school graduation as well as showing an interest in what his middle brother was going to get for his birthday. When I asked what he thought we should do, a video game system was suggested for both. This is not a good idea for a soon-to-be college student but was duly noted for our middle-son.
The younger two wanted a certain game which is only out for the X-Box 1(newest X-Box). Hubs went all out & bought the new system with the game and an extra controller for the birthday boy. Middle-son was so excited we got big hugs. Colin was just as excited and surprised me with jumping in for a group hug. (the 1st in 2 years). He is upstairs now, in his brother's room helping set up the system. This is by far the happiest our house has been in a long time!
For the most part, Colin seems to be behaving like a fairly normal teen. The school year was fairly successful. Colin has been maintaining Honor Roll status and appears to be happy at his new school. He is famous for his study guides and has a group of friends he has been sharing study notes with.
My husband and I have been careful to limit our interactions with our son to allow Colin to initiate most conversation. He is most irritable in the mornings and I am careful not to make eye-contact and to steer clear of my son if possible. Since his return home, Colin has been able to control his reactions to former triggers so that it is hard to know what still bothers him. He is so good that his eldest brother thinks Colin is fine now.
Unfortunately I know that is not the case. Recently I had to pick Colin up from a volunteer gig and it started to rain. I heard a squeeking sound and looked in my rear view mirror to see what it might be. Turns out I left my back wipers on. I caught a glimpse of Colin with a towel over his head. I have not seen this behavior in the past year and am fairly sure this is his way to cope with the windshield wipers.
He also mutters under his breath. I recently caught a few swear words during a car trip. I am choosing to ignore this behavior. I have exceptionally good hearing and I believe this to be a coping mechanism.
As we begin this Summer break, we have much to be grateful for. Our boys seem to be getting along well. Colin will be taking a Summer gym course as well as a SAT-prep class. Cross country practice should be starting soon as well.
Fingers crossed for a routine Summer where Normal shall be celebrated at every chance.
As always, We are a Work-In-Progress.