Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Finding Remarkable in the Mundane

Another week has been flying by. High school swim season has started and we are getting a new routine in place. While it seems like we are continuing to make progress toward reconciliation, the most noteworthy event is that Colin slept in a bed for the second time since he's been home. Also worth mentioning is that he seems to be opening up more on the car rides home. The trick is to be quiet and listen.

4 Day Weekend

The boys had Thursday and Friday off from school last week. Therefore there were some late nights. Thursday morning I woke up extra early due to a sinus headache and went to the loft (now my 2nd bedroom) to lie down for a bit before getting up to feed the dog and start my day.

As I was about to climb into the bottom bunk bed, I felt a leg and realized there was a body. Apparently after watching videos with his middle-brother in the room they used to share, he was too tired to make the trek to his basement room and collapsed in his former bed which now resides in the loft.

He slept until mid-afternoon until he woke with a panic. Colin burst into his brother's room to wake him. He needed a ride to afternoon swim practice.

When I called home to ask my 17 year old what time I needed to pick his brother up, I was warned. Colin may not be in a great mood.

Good Cop

I inquired why and was told that Colin was complaining that he was going to be late to practice and did not want to be disrespectful to the team. My middle-son launched into a tirade about how he felt disrespected. Not sure what else was said but I was told that it was not pretty.

I replied that I do my best to make the ride pleasant and bring a box filled with a wide variety of snacks. Colin is hungry when I pick him up after workouts and we usually pick the dog up next which extends the trip back home. Middle-son said that I will be a hero next to him.

Sure enough, that afternoon, I had a chatty boy complaining about his older brother. He also told me about his classes and some test scores he was not happy with and hoped to improve on. What I remember most about the conversation is that my son was in a relatively good mood, seemed to appreciate the snacks and was slowly starting to open up more about his life.


The rest of the weekend, I barely saw my miso-son, other than to drive him to a swim practice and a school event with his brother while Dad took the other mini-van into the shop.

Monday was relatively uneventful and Tuesday morning I had a nice surprise. When I went down to his room to wake him, Colin was up and dressed and seemed to be in a great mood. He was just finishing up some homework and told me he had a great night's sleep. "I got around 7 hours last night!" he exclaimed while he got up from his couch and stretched.

This morning was an average early morning. I woke Colin up at 5:15 a.m. so he could get ready for his 6:15 a.m. practice. I had to check in 10 minutes later for a second reminder. I asked if he needed a towel and he said yes. Without asking, I opened his swim bag, removed the wet towel from the day before (he should be doing this when he gets home) and threw his damp swim things into the dryer. I resisted the urge to scold him like I would have done to his brothers and reminded myself how lucky I am to be able to do this for my son.

We rode in silence until we got to the school. We were a little early which gave Colin a chance to tie his shoes and slowly gather his belongings.

As I pulled away from the high school exercise facility, I took a moment for silent gratitude.

As always, we are a work-in-progress!

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