It took 5 attempts to finally wake Colin up this morning. We were running late and he did not have time to waste.
After I was ready to go, I yelled down to Colin to see if he was almost ready. He yelled up that he was working on something and it would be a minute. I cleaned up a few things in the kitchen, packed his lunch and went down to check on what was taking him so long.
Much to my dismay he was still in his t-shirt and shorts and working on his computer. He glared at me as I told him we would be late.
I should have been angry. The old me would have lectured him. I most certainly would have with his brothers. Instead when he finally was ready to go, I took a deep breath and exhaled. Things are not that bad.
In fact much to be grateful for.
1. Colin slept in his eldest brother's bed. This has become a more regular event lately.
2. Colin lets me pack his lunch. I typically do this most mornings now. There was a time 3 years ago when he would not eat anything I touched. Now he seems to welcome the help.
3. We got to school on time (barely)
4. Our relationship is slowly improving. Last night he even showed me a slide program assignment for his English class. While the work it self was not that remarkable, I was impressed that he wanted to share with me.
As always we are a work-in-progress... and have much to be grateful for!
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: Misophonia, literally “hatred of sound”,[1] is believed[2] to be a neurological disorder characterized by negative experiences (anger, flight, hatred, disgust) triggered by specific sounds. This Blog chronicles our adventures with my youngest son who suffers from this disorder.
Friday, March 3, 2017
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Interim Report
Every two weeks Colin's high school sends out an email Interim Grade Report. This gives the parents and students a chance to track progress during the grading period. Each time the email arrives in my inbox, I hold my breath. Up until Christmas break, Colin was able to maintain above a 4.0 thanks to the heavy load of AP classes which give him a .5 point boost.
The cracks are beginning to show but fortunately nothing serious yet.
The first report of this year he dropped to a 3.56 GPA due mainly to Latin and English classes. This can be chalked up to the rigors of Swim Team and less-than-ideal time-management. Fortunately the swim season is pretty much over for Colin other than a few warm down practices left.
Yesterday the third report of this grading period came in. While Colin has been bit by bit bringing his average up to a 3.89, three teachers made the same disconcerting comment.
This report was forwarded to me by my husband with a note to Colin:
The warning signs we were watching for are starting to appear. Last night Dad warned that he may be turning off the internet at night. I am not sure if this registered with Colin. Currently he is trying to get over a cold. His sleep schedule has not yet changed much. After coming home from school, he falls asleep in the bathroom while getting ready for a shower. He can sleep for several hours before getting showered and having a late night dinner and then retreating to his room. We have not been watching how he spends his time but I have been told recently by Colin that he is not up on school nights gaming. (just on weekends).
The kid does have a lot on his plate. He took the ACTs this Saturday while battling his cold. Having allergies to the dog has not helped. Colin also just started a Math Club at his school with the goal of competing in the American Math Competition. He is hoping this helps his chances in getting into a good college.
To this end, Colin had debated about getting a doctor's note for the extended-time version of the ACT but decided against it. He mentioned trying to get a diagnosis for ADHD. He allusively referenced his sound issues by saying "The original reason" would not work. I was not able to gently prod him into talking about his sound sensitivities but got the impression that this was not the reason for wanting more time. Colin found out that if he chose to take the extended-time test, it would not be noted on his transcripts. His main goal is to get into a more prestigious university than his brothers.
This coming Monday, we will be making our first college visit to such a college that is 2 hours from our home. Should be interesting!
As always.... we are a work-in-progress!
The cracks are beginning to show but fortunately nothing serious yet.
The first report of this year he dropped to a 3.56 GPA due mainly to Latin and English classes. This can be chalked up to the rigors of Swim Team and less-than-ideal time-management. Fortunately the swim season is pretty much over for Colin other than a few warm down practices left.
Yesterday the third report of this grading period came in. While Colin has been bit by bit bringing his average up to a 3.89, three teachers made the same disconcerting comment.
Sleeps In Class
This report was forwarded to me by my husband with a note to Colin:
There is nothing which angers a teacher like sleeping in class. You have 3 teachers complaining!Time to turn off the gaming, and getting to bed by midnight.Dad
The warning signs we were watching for are starting to appear. Last night Dad warned that he may be turning off the internet at night. I am not sure if this registered with Colin. Currently he is trying to get over a cold. His sleep schedule has not yet changed much. After coming home from school, he falls asleep in the bathroom while getting ready for a shower. He can sleep for several hours before getting showered and having a late night dinner and then retreating to his room. We have not been watching how he spends his time but I have been told recently by Colin that he is not up on school nights gaming. (just on weekends).
The kid does have a lot on his plate. He took the ACTs this Saturday while battling his cold. Having allergies to the dog has not helped. Colin also just started a Math Club at his school with the goal of competing in the American Math Competition. He is hoping this helps his chances in getting into a good college.
To this end, Colin had debated about getting a doctor's note for the extended-time version of the ACT but decided against it. He mentioned trying to get a diagnosis for ADHD. He allusively referenced his sound issues by saying "The original reason" would not work. I was not able to gently prod him into talking about his sound sensitivities but got the impression that this was not the reason for wanting more time. Colin found out that if he chose to take the extended-time test, it would not be noted on his transcripts. His main goal is to get into a more prestigious university than his brothers.
This coming Monday, we will be making our first college visit to such a college that is 2 hours from our home. Should be interesting!
As always.... we are a work-in-progress!
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
And Then There Was One
Yesterday morning I found a text from Colin on my phone:
"Pfffffff. Being the only child in this house is like having a swimming lane to yourself. Have fun in college, I will be making my way through high school"
Colin had sent this message to his brothers Monday night. His middle-brother went back to school on Sunday, leaving him as the only child at home.
Saturday night hubs and I took Colin and his brother out for a nice dinner. It is a tradition to take our boys out for a meal before they go back to school. The guest of honor picked one of our favorite Italian restaurants. We had a lovely meal and everyone was in a great mood.
When dinner was over and we were waiting for the check, Colin started to collect the dishes around him and stack them. As he started to stack the glasses, both middle-son and I told Colin to stop as it was unnecessary and they might get stuck.
I pointed out the irony that he never clears his plates at home but somehow is able to do this in a restaurant. To which Colin replied, " well then I'd be helping YOU." with a smirk on his face. I responded with an "Ouch! That hurt!" Hopefully it was all in jest. On the way home, I did mention that I was still hurt. It was our joke of the evening.
Back at home when the boys were out of earshot, both hubs and I remarked that this was the best dinner in years. Colin has come a long way and things are feeling normal again.
As always..... We are a work-in-progress!
"Pfffffff. Being the only child in this house is like having a swimming lane to yourself. Have fun in college, I will be making my way through high school"
Colin had sent this message to his brothers Monday night. His middle-brother went back to school on Sunday, leaving him as the only child at home.
The Last Supper ( before middle-son went back to school )
Saturday night hubs and I took Colin and his brother out for a nice dinner. It is a tradition to take our boys out for a meal before they go back to school. The guest of honor picked one of our favorite Italian restaurants. We had a lovely meal and everyone was in a great mood.
When dinner was over and we were waiting for the check, Colin started to collect the dishes around him and stack them. As he started to stack the glasses, both middle-son and I told Colin to stop as it was unnecessary and they might get stuck.
I pointed out the irony that he never clears his plates at home but somehow is able to do this in a restaurant. To which Colin replied, " well then I'd be helping YOU." with a smirk on his face. I responded with an "Ouch! That hurt!" Hopefully it was all in jest. On the way home, I did mention that I was still hurt. It was our joke of the evening.
Back at home when the boys were out of earshot, both hubs and I remarked that this was the best dinner in years. Colin has come a long way and things are feeling normal again.
As always..... We are a work-in-progress!
Monday, January 9, 2017
Happy 2017
The holidays have come and gone. Eldest went back to school yesterday while middle-son has a few more weeks at home. Colin has been back at school for a week and we are continuing our routine. Today was another early morning where I dropped Colin off at his 6:15 a.m. swim practice.
Colin had been sleeping on the family room couch but his allergies to the dog have been getting worse. I'm not sure if this is partially due to a cold but decided to use this as an opportunity to get him into a bed. Over break he started to use the bed in the loft. After eldest left last night, I washed his sheets and told Colin he could use his brother's room. I was happy to see him take me up on the offer.
This morning seemed to go pretty smoothly between getting Colin up on time, packed up and to his practice with a minute to spare. I am hoping this trend continues.
Boring is Good
Christmas eve we had dinner at my sister-in-law's. It was a nice, calm, evening with no drama. The sort of affair that my son would call boring. In my book that is Success! Christmas Day was another calm, quiet affair. It was nice having all my boys home. They seemed to get along, although much time was spent with each of them in their rooms doing their own thing.
Eldest was able to take his brother to swim practices where he also participated. Middle-son pitched in and helped with some of the driving. He also took his baby brother out for dinner one night to try out a new pizza place. They also bought a few new video games.
The two concerns that I have are 1. Colin seems to have developed a series of rashes that the doctor thinks is a bacterial infection. Colin now has ointments to apply and we are hoping that things don't get worse as the swim season continues. 2. The amount of time Colin spends video gaming is a bit more than I feel is prudent. This seems to create some late night study sessions due to poor time management but unfortunately this is something Colin will have to figure out on his own. Luckily he has still been able to maintain over a 4.0 due to all of his A.P. classes.
On the Horizon
Two issues looming over the rest of this year. 1. Driver's Ed & Learner's Permit. 2. College Visits
Colin will be 16 in a few months and is ready to start driving lessons. I am leaving this up to his dad as I am too nervous to do this. He also wants to start planning college visits and has mentioned Chicago as one of the cities he wants to go to. We have not taken any long car trips or airplane rides since he was 12 years old and our journey with Misophonia was in full swing.
This should be some interesting territory to navigate!
As always, we are a work-in-progress!
Colin had been sleeping on the family room couch but his allergies to the dog have been getting worse. I'm not sure if this is partially due to a cold but decided to use this as an opportunity to get him into a bed. Over break he started to use the bed in the loft. After eldest left last night, I washed his sheets and told Colin he could use his brother's room. I was happy to see him take me up on the offer.
This morning seemed to go pretty smoothly between getting Colin up on time, packed up and to his practice with a minute to spare. I am hoping this trend continues.
Boring is Good
Christmas eve we had dinner at my sister-in-law's. It was a nice, calm, evening with no drama. The sort of affair that my son would call boring. In my book that is Success! Christmas Day was another calm, quiet affair. It was nice having all my boys home. They seemed to get along, although much time was spent with each of them in their rooms doing their own thing.
Eldest was able to take his brother to swim practices where he also participated. Middle-son pitched in and helped with some of the driving. He also took his baby brother out for dinner one night to try out a new pizza place. They also bought a few new video games.
The two concerns that I have are 1. Colin seems to have developed a series of rashes that the doctor thinks is a bacterial infection. Colin now has ointments to apply and we are hoping that things don't get worse as the swim season continues. 2. The amount of time Colin spends video gaming is a bit more than I feel is prudent. This seems to create some late night study sessions due to poor time management but unfortunately this is something Colin will have to figure out on his own. Luckily he has still been able to maintain over a 4.0 due to all of his A.P. classes.
On the Horizon
Two issues looming over the rest of this year. 1. Driver's Ed & Learner's Permit. 2. College Visits
Colin will be 16 in a few months and is ready to start driving lessons. I am leaving this up to his dad as I am too nervous to do this. He also wants to start planning college visits and has mentioned Chicago as one of the cities he wants to go to. We have not taken any long car trips or airplane rides since he was 12 years old and our journey with Misophonia was in full swing.
This should be some interesting territory to navigate!
As always, we are a work-in-progress!
Monday, November 14, 2016
Good Weekend
The progress continues. It seems like very slowly, our relationship with Colin is improving. While day by day the change is barely perceptible, looking back three years, we have achieved what we once feared not possible. Our new normal is not too far off from plain old normal!
Middle son came home for the weekend. Colin's mood seemed to brighten.On Friday, I took my college freshman with me to pick up his baby brother from school. As Colin approached the car, he seemed giddy with excitement. Next stop was to pick up the dog from daycare. I was beyond thrilled to listen to the boys chatter away. It gave me a chance to gather some "intel".
Life is good!
There was a flurry of activity over the weekend and Saturday night we watched a movie together, (Heathers), followed by Saturday Night Live.
We continue to try to be as hands-off with Colin as possible other than trying to help keep him on track with getting to school and activities. While the majority of his behavior is fairly normal, a few "quirks" remain. Colin still prefers riding in the back seat of my van. He continues to keep an irregular sleep schedule, falls asleep either on the family room couch or the couch in his basement room and often sleeps in his school clothes.
School continues to go fairly well other than his Latin 3 class which is threatening to bring his GPA below a 4.0. Fortunately he seems motivated to try to fix that. The other area of concern is Swim Team which recently started up again. Colin has already skipped a few practices due to school work and other activities. He may be in danger of not being able to participate in meets if he is not attending 85% of his workouts. School comes first and we support Colin on doing whatever it takes to keep his head above water. Colin for his part wants to swim to stay in shape and seems willing to accept the consequences.
As always..... We are a work-in-progress!
Middle son came home for the weekend. Colin's mood seemed to brighten.On Friday, I took my college freshman with me to pick up his baby brother from school. As Colin approached the car, he seemed giddy with excitement. Next stop was to pick up the dog from daycare. I was beyond thrilled to listen to the boys chatter away. It gave me a chance to gather some "intel".
Life is good!
There was a flurry of activity over the weekend and Saturday night we watched a movie together, (Heathers), followed by Saturday Night Live.
We continue to try to be as hands-off with Colin as possible other than trying to help keep him on track with getting to school and activities. While the majority of his behavior is fairly normal, a few "quirks" remain. Colin still prefers riding in the back seat of my van. He continues to keep an irregular sleep schedule, falls asleep either on the family room couch or the couch in his basement room and often sleeps in his school clothes.
School continues to go fairly well other than his Latin 3 class which is threatening to bring his GPA below a 4.0. Fortunately he seems motivated to try to fix that. The other area of concern is Swim Team which recently started up again. Colin has already skipped a few practices due to school work and other activities. He may be in danger of not being able to participate in meets if he is not attending 85% of his workouts. School comes first and we support Colin on doing whatever it takes to keep his head above water. Colin for his part wants to swim to stay in shape and seems willing to accept the consequences.
As always..... We are a work-in-progress!
Friday, October 21, 2016
Good Discussion
This morning was another late start. It was raining and I started my routine a little later. At 6:45 as I was about to wake Colin, he sat up suddenly and for once, I did not have to wake him. The usual time to try to tell him to get up is around 6:15 - 6:30 unless Colin has to be at school early.
We arrived pretty much on time. Colin asked me to hold off on opening the door so he could pack up and put his shoes on. He asked what time it was.
"Eight O'clock" I answered.
"Damn it Mom, I need to get to school earlier".
I asked whose fault that was and was told it was mine; I needed to wake him. We had a back and forth about how many times it takes me to try before he finally wakes up. I told him that he needs to use an alarm clock and take responsibility.
This was one of our longer discussions. One where I was NOT told to "Shut Up". I pulled away and was amazed how calm I was. Not a hint of anger. Any other boy I would have been fuming. Instead I felt this was a bit of progress. Colin and I had a "normal" argument.
We are a work-in-progress!
We arrived pretty much on time. Colin asked me to hold off on opening the door so he could pack up and put his shoes on. He asked what time it was.
"Eight O'clock" I answered.
"Damn it Mom, I need to get to school earlier".
I asked whose fault that was and was told it was mine; I needed to wake him. We had a back and forth about how many times it takes me to try before he finally wakes up. I told him that he needs to use an alarm clock and take responsibility.
This was one of our longer discussions. One where I was NOT told to "Shut Up". I pulled away and was amazed how calm I was. Not a hint of anger. Any other boy I would have been fuming. Instead I felt this was a bit of progress. Colin and I had a "normal" argument.
We are a work-in-progress!
Friday, September 30, 2016
Full Circle
Life has been relatively calm and on an even keel. I have started to make a concerted effort to clean my office at work and my papers at home. As I dig through papers, I am constantly finding reminders of our lives from three years ago, when our journey with Misophonia had started.
Progress has been slow but steady. I often forget how far we have come. Our relationship with Colin has been much improved but not perfect; not too far off from comparison with his older brothers. It is difficult to separate normal teen angst from annoyance to select stimuli. Our son is adept at hiding any reactions to triggers so it is hard to know what sounds bother him and to what extent.
I will take this as a good sign!
One of the most poignant symbols of the not-too-distant past is the clock that is pictured above.
I was cleaning the living room and wanted to give the chair and couch, that we keep covered in sheets for the dog, a good vacuum. I removed the cushions of the chair and low and behold found my clock that was tucked away. Colin used to hide this (formerly) ticking clock all the time. We believe this was among his earliest trigger sounds. Even with it's batteries removed, someone found the need to tuck it away.
For much of the past year, Colin seemed to have been suffering from a never-ending case of the sniffles. This has continued even after his surgery. Dad took him to an ENT for allergy testing. Low and behold his biggest issue seems to be "Dog" as well as Ragweed and Weeds.
Colin has allergy medications to help but he has been reluctant to take them. When I asked him how he feels about this new issue, he replied, "...It's worth it!"
Hopefully love conquers all!
As always..... We are a work-in-progress!
Progress has been slow but steady. I often forget how far we have come. Our relationship with Colin has been much improved but not perfect; not too far off from comparison with his older brothers. It is difficult to separate normal teen angst from annoyance to select stimuli. Our son is adept at hiding any reactions to triggers so it is hard to know what sounds bother him and to what extent.
I will take this as a good sign!
Time
I was cleaning the living room and wanted to give the chair and couch, that we keep covered in sheets for the dog, a good vacuum. I removed the cushions of the chair and low and behold found my clock that was tucked away. Colin used to hide this (formerly) ticking clock all the time. We believe this was among his earliest trigger sounds. Even with it's batteries removed, someone found the need to tuck it away.
New Issue
For much of the past year, Colin seemed to have been suffering from a never-ending case of the sniffles. This has continued even after his surgery. Dad took him to an ENT for allergy testing. Low and behold his biggest issue seems to be "Dog" as well as Ragweed and Weeds.
Colin has allergy medications to help but he has been reluctant to take them. When I asked him how he feels about this new issue, he replied, "...It's worth it!"
Hopefully love conquers all!
As always..... We are a work-in-progress!
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