Thursday, February 27, 2014

Frequently Asked Questions - Part 3 Why is Your Son In Denial?

One of the most puzzling aspects of  "Colin's Disease" is the refusal to admit he has an issue with certain sounds and visuals.Why won't he talk about what is happening? The most he has admitted to is an "annoyance" with some noises and once apologized to me after he calmed down from a rage for an burst of "adrenaline".

I believe part of the issue is that it is hard to explain what a "trigger" feels like. A while back I saw a discussion between adults that were asked  this question.


"I want a name for that feeling we feel when we get triggered. The one that is unbearable. No, it is not an irritation, and if we ask others to multiply it by a billion times, still, it is not. To call it just a pain, does not quite cut it also. Other people have no idea what it is, never felt it, and that is why it is so hard for them to understand. It just has no name. And I want to name it........"

  a few of the responses:

"inescapable painful intolerance"

"Helplessness or hopelessness and extreme frustration."

"I think extreme disgust is part of it. Not all of it, but some of it. Also pain, though not quite physical pain. Anguish maybe."

"What a thoughtful question. I like "anguish," and I went to the Synonym Finder to see what it said. Torment? Distress? Fury? Ferocity? Vehemence? I still like "anguish."
I would caution against "pain," because that confuses misophonia with hyperacusis, and the distinction needs to be clear."

"I like the term 'mental anguish'. Also, 'torment'."

"its like im turning into the incredible hulk!"

If it is difficult for adults to articulate what it feels like when triggered, can you imagine what it must be like for a child? This is so hard to explain, let alone understand how and why this happens. This unexplainable condition seems crazy. 

Therein lies part of the answer: My son has an inexplicable condition, knows he is sane and does not want to be labeled "crazy". 

I've also been told that it is common for boys his age to not want to believe that there is anything wrong with them and that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Colin has expressed that he can handle things on his own.

I wonder if by admitting there is a problem and giving it a name somehow makes it "Real". Clearly my son is only fooling himself by pretending he is perfectly fine.

We are a work-in-progress!


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