Sunday, April 6, 2014

30 Minute Visit

I went out to my sister's house for the first round of visits to help get Colin used to me again. One of my adult miso-friends has been coaching me and dubbed our project "Bring Colin Home". Our psychologist was surprised I wanted to take a more conservative approach than he was advocating. My friend had advised to gradually work up to trying to be in the same room and let my son get used to me being under the same roof for brief periods of time first.

My sister had told Colin on Thursday that I would be out to the house this Sunday. He immediately responded with, "She's not coming inside." which was more of a statement than a question. His aunt flashed one of her signature looks of "this is not your choice" that stopped my son's protest before it could take hold.

Colin was reminded again this afternoon, shortly before I came out so that he could be prepared. It was expected that he would most-likely stay in his room.

My sister was outside in her driveway as I pulled up. My nephew had a few friends over and one of the mom's stopped to chat before she left. After a few minutes, my sister and I entered the house for my set time to begin.

Angry Eyes

As we rounded the corner to the hallway, Colin darted out and stopped long enough to flash an angry glance in my direction before scurrying down the stairs to the lower level. My sister was surprised. She had never seen Colin look like that and it was clear he was waiting for me to show his disapproval.

I took this as progress. The last time I was in the house, he had run away and hid in a closet when he realized I had entered the house. I was also encouraged that while his eyes conveyed anger, they were not squinted into his "laser-beam of death" stare that we have experienced at our house.

I grabbed a Diet Pepsi and we settled in the living room . We spoke briefly about my concerns about Exposure Therapy and my sister showed me a video of what Colin's therapist has labeled his "tantrum". I had heard about my son "rubbing" and "playing" with his ears but was a bit taken aback by the video clip. Colin was sitting with his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor and the "rubbing" was more like violently flapping / flicking his ears. I swear if his ears were a bit bigger, he might be able to fly like Dumbo.

The rest of the time we avoided talking about Colin and had a nice visit. When my 30 minutes were up, I left to go back home. I am curious what Colin's mood will be like tonight and how his visit with his therapist will go tomorrow. For now I will be happy that I have my first visit completed and it went as well as I could have hoped for.

We are a work-in-progress!

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