Sunday, April 20, 2014

The Third Time is Not Necessarily The Charm

I went out yesterday for another visit at my sister's house. Due to Easter Sunday plans with my husband's family, I scheduled this week's visit on a Saturday. As per my discussion with our psychologist, we were taking things up a notch. The plan was to try to spend five minutes in a  room with my son. I was to enter the room, say "Hello, Colin" and maintain a 6 - 8 foot distance. As part of the protocol, Colin was given fair warning of my pending visit. Earlier that day my sister had reminded Colin that I was coming out and asked him if he wanted to say hello. He said "No."

While I suspected that my son would leave the room after I entered, I was nervous. I was running ahead of schedule and stopped at Panera to pick up a couple of salads for my sister and myself. My sister was running a bit late and I beat her to her house by a few minutes. I waited for her in her driveway and proceeded to help her unload her car after she pulled in. As Aunt "P" entered the house, she spotted Colin watching t.v. in the family room with a blanket around his shoulders. He knew I was right behind her, threw the blanket over his head to block any view of me and raced down the lower-level stairs.

I finished helping my sister unload her car to give Colin a chance to settle in the game room. I also wanted my sister to be in the house and ready to provide assistance if I needed it.


I Had Him at "Hello"!

I took a deep breath and went down to the game room. I found the door had been closed. I slowly opened it and walked in. Colin was sitting on the floor,  in front of the television. As I approached the sofa to sit down, I said "Hello, Colin.". My son took one look at me, covered his ears and ran from the room.

Game over.

I went back upstairs to visit with my sister in her kitchen over salads. I decided to stay in this room, the center of the house, for the rest of my visit. Toward the end of my time, my sister needed to shower and get ready for an appointment. I stayed put and sat with a view of the back staircase. Colin had escaped to the workout room before going back to the game room when it was clear I was settled upstairs and wasn't going to chase him.

I wanted a clear view if he decided to come back upstairs.

Sure enough, I was rewarded with a quick glimpse of my son as he crept up the stairs and peered through the railing to see if the coast was clear. As soon as he saw that I was still in the house, he retreated back down the stairs.

Shortly afterwards my sister came back down to the kitchen and I told her it was time for me to leave. I asked her to tell Colin I was leaving and to see if he wanted to say, "Good Bye".  While it was no surprise my son did not want to see me before I left, I felt it was important to give him a chance. I also wanted to establish that I was not going to chase him around the house.

I left for home, glad to have this visit behind me. While our goal of " 5 Minutes in the same room" was not met, I was relieved there was not a confrontation nor was there a rage. I'll report back this week to our Psychologist and set up the plan for this coming weekend.

We are a work-in-progress!

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