Tuesday, November 12, 2013

This is Hard

This has been a hard and stressful journey for all of us; one of the most scary rides of our lives. There are no playbooks, no hard and fast rules and unfortunately no turning back. If someone told me six months ago about what my life would be like now, I'd laugh and think they were insane. The challenges we face are no laughing matter.

We've had to put my sister and her family in a very stressful position that they did not sign up for. I hate that we have had to dump our child on someone else. It is so hard to watch helplessly from a distance as my child struggles. I want to help but the best I can do is back away. I will need to learn to control my stress and let others take over.

There are so many things we would do differently given the chance.

Au Revoir to French Class

Yesterday was the day the guidance counselor was to tell Colin he needed to drop French. He got a "D" on his test Friday. The class is for High School credit and will go on his permanent record if he continues. We all thought Colin would listen to the counselor and be o.k. with switching to a STEM class. He was not and thought he could turn things around. He challenged the scores and wanted to speak with his aunt.

While my sister was not expecting this to happen, she made a strong case why Colin could not continue.This was not the same class that he was getting an "A" in at his old school. He was offered help in the form of tutors and extra work and refused the help. Colin blew the chances he was given and needed to face the consequences.

He finally said o.k. and seemed to reluctantly accept his fate. His aunt then took him to Wendy's and his mood brightened. Chicken tenders and a Frosty are a go-to treat for our family when on the run.

Aunt P was also able to talk to Colin about expectations in the future. She explained her role and set some boundaries. I am proud of how she handled things and hope that she finally feels more at ease and in control.

Word from the Observer

So far it seems like Colin is transitioning well in school (other than in French). He is engaged in the classes that were observed and seems to be interacting with other students as well as the teachers. Colin also seems to be thriving in his new home.

He is still very angry at his parents and is not interested in returning home or seeing us. In Colin's eyes we are to blame for his hospitalization and this is an unforgivable offense.

Thanksgiving Plans

As the wounds are still raw, unless there are any changes in attitude, my husband and I will stay home for Thanksgiving. We need to pick and chooses our battles and this is not an important one to push. We don't want to rock the boat.

My brother has offered to help shuttle our two older boys and I think we will take him up on the offer. I would still like my son to stay connected with his siblings.

I'm not sure what the future holds but am mindful of our Behavioral Psychologist's advice to not look too far ahead. 

We are a work-in-progress!

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