Friday, December 27, 2013

Quick Update

As I was finishing up my last post, my sister called. No surprise, Colin did not react well upon seeing the stocking and gifts. He gave his candy to his cousins and loaded up his gifts into a car to go back.

I have hit my limit for the rest of the year. It sucks not knowing what the next few months will hold. I just can't see how our son will be ready to reconcile any time soon. There is an invisible ticking clock over our heads. The ticking is getting progressively louder and more annoying.

Right now I feel so screwed. Our lives are complicated by trying to figure out the best type of insurance to purchase that will cover our doctors and the psychological care our son will need. We are ready to look at new homes that will be better suited to our family's needs and I am not seeing any promising options yet. We don't even know whether our son will be ready to come back to us by the end of the school year. Just for giggles, I looked into the cost of boarding school. We might as well flush Colin's college fund down the toilet. Boarding school tuition rivals that of an Ivy League college. We really don't have the resources to do this.

There is no clear path.

I have asked my sister to go back to communicating by email. At night. And only if urgent. It took me half a day to calm down yesterday. I felt like driving across town to have a knock-down drag-out fight with my son. I know this would not be productive. The best thing for everyone is to have a bit of a communications black out for the rest of the year. The tensions are getting high and I have two other boys to worry about.

We are a work-in-progress!!!!!!!!


  1. I wish I had something to offer you in the way of help. My prayers are still with you all. I can see how tremendously painful and difficult this is for you, yet you remain strong, with your son's best interests at heart. Be proud of yourself. Every word you write here and the example you set will help others trying to navigate these same dark waters. Hugs to you!

    1. Thanks, Terri. You have no idea how much your prayers mean to me. I feel so lucky to have the support system that I do. Thanks for your kind words! :)