Sunday, October 27, 2013

Sunday Morning Recon

I called my sister late this morning to get a quick update. She and her husband left Colin yesterday afternoon and evening with his (almost) 16 year old cousin to go to an OSU game where they were hosting a tailgate party. My nephew was still sleeping when I called, but Colin was already up, had breakfast and was back in his room.

When my sister and brother-in-law came back at 1:30 a.m., Colin was asleep in his room with the t.v. on. My sister turned off the t.v. and lights and went to bed. He seemed to be in a decent mood this morning but there was no report from his still sleeping "babysitter". Colin had offered to help his aunt and uncle clean up their party van later today after they had a chance to recover from the night before. I was grateful that our son is trying to be helpful around the house.

We are all concerned how Colin will take the news that he will have to transfer to a new school. When I spoke to my sister yesterday, my son was talking about dressing like Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory to go Trick-or-Treating and seemed a bit confused when he was told he'd be at his current home for Halloween. He still was under the impression that he'd be back home and at his school by then. My sister gently mentioned that this was not likely.

In order to remove any doubt about where we stood, I had my sister put me on hold and approach my son. She told him I was on the phone and wanted to know if he would like his laptop to be able to play YuGiOh online with his brothers or to have his 15 year old brother visit today. Colin was a bit taken aback and said that he thought I wasn't going to call the house. His aunt explained that I'm still her sister and that she will still talk to his mother but he doesn't have to. Colin said that he did not want his laptop or to see his brother, nor did he want to speak with me.  

This will make the "talk" go a bit easier. There is no way this boy is ready to come home.

The next step is to hire an attorney to guide us through the guardianship process. We want to be careful not to take any steps that would be hard to undo. We also want to make sure we do not cause my sister and her family to have any financial liability for our son.

For now, our son is being left alone to chill out. We are all being careful to not put too much on him at once. After being witness to the effects of being triggered, my sister is proceeding with a healthy caution. The talk can wait until later today. Tomorrow we will take steps to get the school transfer moving along.

We are a work-in-progress.


  1. Love the video games online with brothers element. Though questionable for kids that don't have his special needs, do you think MMORPG's might be a way for him to get some confidence (where the guilds go on raids or whatever it is that guilds do)? And could that open up some communication lines either with his family back home or other kids he may have a lot in common with?

    Glad the transition is going as well as can be expected. When I immigrated overseas, it helped me mentally to have a timeline of how long I would give it a try (in that case, 3 years).

    I was sent to live with my aunt and uncle (1.5 hours away in Colorado) at age 15 and THRIVED. It was such a blessing. I made friends, did well in school, behaved, had fun. After a year, and to my surprise because it was working well, I was returned to my parents and it did not go well. I might have quit school and run away or something, but I just did extra work and made the school let me graduate at age 16. It was pretty young for a troubled girl to go to college at 17 but that was the best solution at the time when I just couldn't get happy at my parent's house.

    Misos really like to have control of our environment and not knowing what's next scares me. Even if you perhaps set landmark of "we'll revisit things at X date and look for X measurables", it might help him manage his expectations. Hang in there lady. You are so amazing! :)

  2. Thanks for the insight. Your experience gives me hope for the future!