Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The Talk

Sunday night my sister took Colin for a walk. She broached the dreaded topic of transferring to a new school. Our son was still under the impression that he was going to go back home and take up where he left off. He thought he could live in our house, avoid his parents and go back to school.

His Aunt P. made it clear that this was not possible, nor was she going to drive three hours a day to get him to and from his old school. I doubt he'd survive the daily car rides anyways, especially when the heater or windshield wipers needed to be used.

She explained that his options were to live with her or go to a group home and advised our son to choose wisely. He would not have the cushy environment in foster-care or a group home. Aunt P also mentioned that she needed to get guardianship rights. Colin asked her if that meant he was going to live with her until he was 18. Aunt P paused and said "Maybe". She had a quiet inner freak-out. No one is prepared for the long-term prospects.

Aunt P then asked what he was going to tell the kids at his new school about his transfer. She suggested that he tell them he moved in with his Aunt because he couldn't get along with his parents.Colin said he would just say he moved.

"What are you going to tell friends when you bring them home to your Aunt's house?"

Colin replied that he doesn't have friends come over the house. He just isn't that kid. My sister was shocked. That is not what she is used to with her two boys. (Her eldest is a college freshman who is away at school). She has the house where everyone wants to come and hang out.

We were concerned how Colin would take the news. He seemed to be "o.k." and "fine" and didn't say much else.

Monday morning (yesterday morning) I called to see how things were going. I heard a cheerful "Hello" and then a click before I could say anything. I realized my son had answered and then hung up. My sister called back a few minutes later. She had a friend who had been storing some furniture at her house. They were moving it out of the house and Aunt P asked Colin to answer the phone. He told her that her sister called. Colin did the same thing a few hours later, when his dad called. This time there was no "Hello". Just silence and a click.
That afternoon my husband met me at my office to get some papers signed and notarized. He then met my sister downtown at the County Courthouse. We now have the guardianship process underway. Hopefully Colin will be able to start school in the next day or so.
That evening I was able to get a report. Colin has been sleeping on an area rug the last few nights on his back and wearing his headphones. This is an improvement from trying to sleep sitting up. I am glad he seems to be getting sleep.

He also has been helpful around the house. He made his cousin's bed and helped pick up a bit. My sister is afraid that won't last long and that his cousin will teach him bad behavior. At this point, I don't care. I am so glad Colin seems to be thriving. I am relieved at how the transition is going so far and will not be able to relax until the new school is underway.

My sister offered to write reports for the blog. She also wants to supply links to his new school administrators so they better understand the situation. I think both are great ideas but am doubtful they would have the time or interest to read what is becoming a lengthy book. I did express concern about being careful about who she shares information with. We are worried if any classmates know about Colin's select sound sensitivities, we will all be in big trouble.

 I'm hoping for a good day today!

We are a work-in-progress!


  1. I am following your progress faithfully and reading every word. I don't always know what to say or have something helpful to add and so don't always leave a comment. But I just wanted to let you know you continue to be in my prayers.

    1. Thanks, Terri. I feel your presence and appreciate your support and prayers!