Trial & Error

 

 Post to Parent Support Group 9/18/13

Last night, I had a chance to have a nice conversation with my 15 year old non-miso son. I asked his opinion as to how to get his younger brother to try Neurofeedback.

Without hesitation, the answer was, "We should just tie him to a chair and gag him. Then we hook him up to the equipment and let him watch a video with it."

I had to smile. Don't think I had not thought of that. My O.T. friend would be horrified!

File this under #BadIdeas that you'd like to do!

 

Lisa: I like the way you think! Trying to get a kid to take his medicine is not always easy but imho NFB is like the best meds ever - because it is good for assisting you in reaching peak performance no matter where you start out. 

Maybe if you could convince the rest of the family to use the equipment - put up a rotating schedule on it - Kid 1 is Monday and Thursday, Kid 2 is Tuesday and Friday, Mom is Wednesday and Saturday and Dad is Saturday Tuesday and Thursday or something like that and just ignore him and you all do it for a few weeks without asking him to get on the schedule and in the meantime chart your results and discuss openly without suggesting he try... 

Our NFB guy has a chart we use to track our improvement in certain areas over time - so you all could be analyzing your charts and seeing if you sleep better, concentrate better etc and list focus in sports - like able to concentrate on pitches better or what have you and then chart improvements - maybe he would be attracted to that. ESPECIALLY if there are things that both you that you are able to say - wow - I am not bothered by XYZ as much - and then over time - WOW I do not even think about XYZ anymore...

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Last night it was my turn to pick up my two younger boys from swim practice. I grabbed the giant sponge on the way out the door and tossed it in the back of the mini van. When I got to the Y, the boys were out front waiting for me. Both were in a good mood. Colin was unusually chatty, and dare I say seemed like his old normal-self. He pointed out a guy in the parking lot playing a violin and that there was a full moon. (Maybe the moon has magical powers over Miso?).

When I stopped at a light, I glance back to look at Colin. He was in his new usual spot, the way back, hunched over a folded-down seat. As if he knew what I was looking for, he said, "Mom, I am not squeezing that sponge. I know why you have it." 

I was prepared with a "white lie". "Really?" "It's been cold in the mornings and I thought I could use it to wipe-off my windows and side-mirrors with it." That seemed to end that conversation but I couldn't help but wonder if my husband told our son about our theory. (I found out later he did not). I am totally keeping the sponge now to wipe off the condensation on my van. Ergo, I did not lie!

What hope I had that my son was "coming around", was short lived. Back at home I realized he was engaged and on friendly terms with his brother but continued to have negative feelings toward me. I was comforted by the fact that they were not as animous as usual. I was able to use that to my advantage when at 10:00 p.m., I wanted Colin to get ready for bed. He was watching t.v. in the basement and I plopped down at the other end of the pit group. When my son realized I was not leaving, he retreated and went back upstairs to his "B&B". I did not have to say a word. 

I will take Lisa's advice and try to get my middle son to use the NFB equipment with me without suggesting our Miso-son try it. I fully expect that Colin still won't soften his stance but it is certainly worth a shot. At this point we have nothing to lose. 

We are a work-in-progress!